i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
