Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize