you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I need water and some morals
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
