On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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