what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
