Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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