So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
