Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Randomize
