Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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