the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
