that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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