I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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