This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
