The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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