Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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