I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Actions speak louder than pants.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
