Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Green mimosas i think yes
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
