but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize