My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
