my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
