Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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