I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
