So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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