I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize