I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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