dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
