She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So much Jack, so little girl.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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