I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
