Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
