My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize