never play flip cup with pint glasses
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
