FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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