fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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