I must be too annoying 4 u.
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
