remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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