DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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