Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
