hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
