OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
