I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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