i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Vodka?
Forever.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
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