You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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