Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
