I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
