garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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