make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
