If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize