We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
