im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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