I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
