Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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