If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
