I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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