Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize