saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
tell me about the eggs
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
