i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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