Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize