Who wears a wallet chain?!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize