you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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