i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
