Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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