she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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